Exreme ups and downs. Reflections at 275 days away from home.

Just a wee update on the condition of our house; things are moving along fairly well with a few glitches here and there that come with digging into a home that’s around 100 years old. The underpinning is done, the vapour barrier is in, the in floor heating is installed, the floor has been poured, and the framing is done. Windows should be installed this week, electrical and plumbing is coming along, and then drywall which will make the basement look, well, like a basement. The last thing in will be a lift to get me down to the basement from our main floor. All indications are that we are on pace for me being home by Christmas. That was the goal all along so fingers crossed, prayers offered, positive thoughts our way are all welcome. (The go-fund-me page that our friend Joanna has set up for us is still live if that’s speaking to you at all. It’s getting real now that the invoices are flooding in. https://www.gofundme.com/xjxdme-oxford-home-renos)

AnyWho, now to day-to-day life stuff. Our lives are unbelievably full of ups and downs but this has been an unusual week full of extreme highs and lows. I won’t get into the details of either of those except to say that the lows hurt me deeply and the highs encouraged me greatly.
I found myself staring out my window today reflecting on the week that was.

Everything on my window ledge has deep meaning to me. In this case I found myself staring at the plant. It was given to me as a gift from a friend on the street. She calls Erinn mom and as a result has begun calling me dad. She is far from well and on more than one occasion I expected Erinn to tell me of her passing. But she’s crazy resilient and keeps bouncing back. So strong.
When I first got it, it was just 2 plants inside little plastic containers that plants come in when you buy them at a store. For some reason she thought of me when she saw them and picked them up. When I saw her one day, she gave them to me and made me promise to look after them. I asked her what kind of plants they were and she refused to tell me. She said it was a surprise. I’m not sure if that was because she didn’t know what it was, but I went with it.
I wasn’t optimistic that I wouldn’t kill them. Most plants in my possession don’t survive… but the plant grew. It outgrew the original container and I had to find a bigger pail and soil to transfer them into. I thought that might be the death of them.
But it’s still growing.
And now finally there are sprouts, and theories suggest that it is a pepper plant. So all of a sudden I am very much enjoying looking after this plant and looking forward to seeing what’s going to come of it. It’s become quite a meaningful past time for me. It looks yet again like another friend on the street knows me more than I know myself.
As I’m gazing at this plant and reflecting on all that it means, I noticed through the window the horse.
Yes, a horse!
I’m in downtown Toronto and looking at a horse.
There was a cop on it and they were just sitting there, not moving. And all of a sudden a bunch of new emotions hit me, both positive and negative, about what I was seeing.
And I realized, my life is so full of weirdness. If I were to unpack every single thing that I can see by just looking at this windows I could possibly write a whole book on how everything I can see makes me feel. There is so much beauty and brokenness all around me. There are so many ups and downs in life. And sometimes it’s all woven together, impossible to separate out and process.

The horse has moved on now. The world keeps on spinning. My Saturday will progress, hopefully as planned but you never know how life will unfold…
All I really have to hold onto is my faith. I will hold a cross in my hands for a moment and be reminded that the hope that comes from this will never change.
No matter what!

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