Throughout all my years of living with MS I’ve adopted a mantra;
“I have MS but MS doesn’t have me”.
However, sometimes lately I’m starting to think that maybe MS is winning.
Even though I’m still trying to fight it.
As far as I can summarize, there are 3 possibly conflicting schools of thought to balance out when it comes to trying to stay healthy and to slow this MS thing down for as long as is possible.
First there’s mainstream medicine. From their perspective, there is really only one proven response to this phase of the disease according to data obtained from research; exercise! My neurologist is adamant that I must stretch, walk, plus elevate my heart rate for 30 minutes every single day in order to slow down the progress of this disease. All 3 of these are not easy to do in my condition, but that’s the deal.
So I’m trying.
Sometimes I’m killing it and other times I just can’t find it in me to summon the motivation to keep it up. I’ve been in one of those funks lately and need some kind of a boost to get back at it.
Then there’s the pot people. There is a ton of anecdotal evidence to suggest that marijuana in the right dosage with the right calorie reduced diet could be hugely advantageous to me. Though I have room for this possibility, I’ve been resistant to it thus far. Not because I have any theological issue with it whatsoever. But because I have such a low tolerance to drugs of any kind, I fear what it would do to me. Plus, I already eat enough chips as it is…
And finally there are the healing prayer people. I barely know some of those people so hardly pay any attention to them. One such person offered me a book with all of the ‘sins’ attached to each of the major diseases. It had a chapter in it on MS and listed the sins that I needed to rid myself of before I could be healed. Maybe that encounter has left me some baggage.
Others however who make this suggestion, are family and friends that I love, respect and trust. I also, as a man of faith, do fully believe that the God I worship, The Great Physician, is more than able to cure MS if He so chooses. So I of course have a little room and perhaps even a little hope for this possibility. ALL of my hope rests in God, but that’s different than assuming I’ll ever be ‘healed’ of MS.
In the meantime this disease marches on. I now ‘own’ a wheelchair van (my latest acquisition), a walker, several canes, and a mobility scooter. Our house is slowly being retrofitted for my needs as a disabled person. We have 2 stair lifts, bars to hold on to, a walk-in tub, and a wheelchair ramp to help me get inside. So holding these 3 schools of thought in tension with each other while facing the reality of day-to-day life is tough slugging.
Maybe MS has a little more of me than I care to admit.
But as tough as it is to do this at times, I’ll continue to place my hope and trust in God that all is under control.
More thoughts to come.