I did talk about writing three parts to this blog. However it was so long ago even I seem to have forgotten about it. So much has happened between now and the last time I wrote.
Two Wednesdays ago We had invited the families in our church group over for supper. It was a wonderful time together and we were able to show them our newly renovated home. I went to bed feeling great, but then woke up feeling as miserable as I have in a very long time. Fever. Weak. Slurred speech, The whole deal. We even had to call an ambulance. They took me to Saint Michael’s hospital where sadly I had to be for nine days until things got resolved. It turns out I had a bladder infection and a touch of pneumonia which both required strong IV antibiotics. Good times…
But now I’m home again. Hopefully this time I’ll be here more than two weeks before something strange happens.
A good and wise friend at church asked me one Sunday if I felt part of my body or if I thought of myself as perhaps younger and not disabled. She herself is around 50 and told me that she often needs to remind herself that she’s not a teen or in her 20s anymore. I do often hear that sentiment from people our age.
But I’ve never been asked that question. I had to be honest with her and myself. Truth is, as I have had lots of time to reflect on the state of my health and body, I do very much feel as though I am disabled. I also feel perhaps even older than I am due to having to retire at the age of 48. On top of that, I was sleeping in a bed at the hospital that could weigh me. It was the first time in over a year that I was able to find out how much I weighed. I knew I had gained weight because all I do is sit around on my ass all day in a wheelchair, but I didn’t know how much and didn’t really know if I wanted to find out. But I did and it turns out I am up 22 pounds in just over a year.
So yes, Sometimes I feel 20 years older than I am as I have gained a lot of weight, feel like a blob in a chair, and have had to go through what people in their 60s have to when it comes to retiring and deciding what is next in life.
But now that I am finally home again living with my beautiful wife and wonderful 16-year-old daughter, maybe I can start to believe that I am just a 50-year-old man with lots of life ahead of me.
Maybe that could be my Holy Week discipline, though the week is slipping away quickly as well.
I did just go to my local barber for a shave and a haircut. That made me feel a lot better and less like I’ve been living out in the woods for the past year at least.
That’s a start I guess…
And thankfully, Easter is coming no matter what!!!