A Shitty few weeks (191 Days away from home)

Well I’m not gonna lie. It’s been a bit of a shitty couple of weeks. I hate this brutal disease.
First off my next-door neighbour took his life one night. I don’t know how old he was but he seemed to be about my age. He was in a wheelchair just like me and we talked pretty much every night in front of our building, including the night before he took his life. I knew he was depressed. But he seemed fine when we chatted that night. I was sad and even a bit shaken to hear that he was gone.
It happened to be the same night that some guy in his 20s with apparently significant mental health issues took a gun and went out onto the Danforth and shot up the whole neighborhood. It was the same street that my family and I had dinner on just a few hours earlier.
People lost their lives.
People lost their friends.
People lost their sense of safety.
It was a tragic evening on so many levels.
Then last Thursday there was going to be a farewell/thank you barbeque for me from Causeway. It was to start at 6:30 but at 5 PM that day the skies were black and the forecast was for rain all night. So the event got postponed. However, just my luck of course, at 6:30 the skies cleared and it was the most beautiful evening of the summer. I was more sad about it than I expected to be. Sad that at 48 I needed to retire from work that I love. And sad that this event had to be postponed due to weather that turned out to be the opposite of bad. So I drove my wheelchair up the street to find comfort food and sure enough I found the most amazing spicy fried chicken ever. It gave me temporary happiness and a fairly giant crap The next day. (I told you it’s been a shitty few weeks…:)
The event got rescheduled for the following Thursday Which was beautiful, but at that point I was really sick. I had woken up with a fever the day before and could barely do anything for myself. The fever broke that day but the next day I was still quite weary from it. I went to the barbeque but had to leave early because I just wasn’t well.
And speaking of not being well, I have been planning for weeks to go away this weekend to a cottage with my family and several other families that I have grown to love dearly over the years. I even bought a gizmo that helps me stand and transfer from my chair to a bed or a couch. But I am still quite fatigued from that fever so I sadly needed to take a pass on the very first time that I would have gone away since all this happened to me. So my family, with 100% endorsement from me of course, are at a cottage with our dear friends and here I am sitting in an apartment that is not my home.
So yeah, today I’m feeling extra sorry for myself.
Woe is me:)
I am now 191 days into not being at home. And I cannot wait to get back there. Even though I will still have multiple sclerosis living there, it will still be home.
Our renos have begun. Our house is currently upside down. But within a few months it should be liveable for me.

And that’s something to look forward to.
That’s something that gives me hope.

9 thoughts on “A Shitty few weeks (191 Days away from home)”

  1. Joy van Herwaarde

    Your honest reflections are appreciated as you tell us how it is. Not good for you, but it helps to share I hope. As the Proverb says: only we know our own pain. Pray that peace comes as you mourn your friends, knowing our loving God, the Father welcomes the troubled soul home. The Father will bless you in some special way as you anticipate going back to your home. Living takes courage, may it continue to nurse your spirit and bring joy to your soul.

  2. Hello Dion,
    You”ve done more for people who are hurting and in need than anyone else I know. Be proud of your efforts, you have made a big impact on so many lives. MS is a battle that I can only begin to understand, I think of you often, hope you stay strong and continue to be a living example for others. Sorry for the loss of your friend,.some things we will never fully understand..so sad. Wish you well Dion,

  3. Hey Dion my friend.

    Thanks for bleeding on the page and sharing the crap you have been going through. It does suck. I can’t fathom the emotional toll that the last 191 days has had on you and your fam.
    Looking forward to connecting with you in person real soon my friend.


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