It’s March 3.
And I am outside, in the park, the sky is blue and the sun is shining, and there is almost no snow on the ground.
And on top of that, I got my first vaccination shot on Friday. It all feels as though there is light at the end of this very long and dark tunnel.
All of this makes me extremely thankful.
However, I did need a rude awakening it seems over the weekend. I felt very very good after my shot. Then the next day I felt just as good and Erinn and I even went for a long walk with friends and had socially distant dinner with them outside. It all felt so normal.
But then when I woke up on Sunday, I felt really dizzy. It was like I needed a serious reminder that even though Covid seems to be coming to an end, that all of my health woes are still very much a part of my life. I might not get Covid, but I do have MS.
Sadly there is no vaccine or cure for that.
That reminder made me feel kind of pissed off for a couple of days. Heaven forbid I feel good for too long without having to be reminded of this sickness I have.
But after feeling sorry for myself for long enough, I was reminded of this profound new recording of the Psalms that a friend of ours, Mike Janzen, has recently recorded. Erinn and I bought tickets to watch his video of what he has called the Psalms project. I was so struck by it. He had a concussion which lasted four long years. During that time he was often unable to do anything but sit in his basement in the dark with no people around or noise. He couldn’t play music. He couldn’t even listen to music at times. Any visits he had with friends had to be short ones. And being the kind of father and husband he wanted to be was near impossible. During that time he immersed himself in the Psalms and wrote songs out of that experience. This music is the culmination of that time of darkness, confusion, anger, vulnerability, pain, and disillusionment. Out of it came the best stuff I think he has ever written. I’ve had the album on repeat ever since.
If you have any music streaming service, I’d highly recommend listening to his Psalms project albums. (In fact, if I may be so bold, I’d suggest you buy them if you can so as to lend support to him as a musician.
The song that sticks out the most to me though is the first one. It is based on psalm 3. Called ‘I wake’. it is acknowledgement that being awake today is a gift from God. The only reason why any of us woke up today is because God gave us breath to do that.
For me in the midst of feeling sorry for myself, I need that reminder all the time. It takes me out of my place of sadness to a place of thankfulness.
And yes, for that I am truly thankful.